I LOVE it!
When every so often out of the blue I get asked a question which makes me stop, go WHAT?! ……. Where is this coming from?! ………… Then I have to actually think and really ponder the answer before I reply.
This week I got asked such a question.
Out of nowhere I got asked by a friend ….
“Has the time since you turned 50 been tougher than usual?”
A WHAT???!!!! Moment.
My friend continued to advise that according to a mutual acquaintance – a person’s 50th year is meant to be really tough. While I am still pondering this I receive examples of such difficulties that had been evident in their life since they themselves had turned 50.
I picked up my phone to respond only to find myself putting it back down and actually wondering, what has my 50th Year been like?
I only turned 50 last August, so my 50th Year is still underway. However, I found myself contemplating the last 8 months and how they have been and then found myself fleeting back and forth to my 40’s for reflective comparison.
It is funny what you learn when you delve truthfully into answering an unexpected deep question and not just rattle off some fast reply.
Here is what I responded with…..
They say life begins at 40……
But 50 has actually been my best year. (I was even surprised to realise this one!)
In my 40’s I was dealing with the raising of my two lads, going off the rails, scandal, breakups and mending my marriage. My Mum passed away. Cancer once again raised its nasty head and brought flooding back painful suppressed memories. Then my sister Antonia sadly lost her fight for life. I began the difficult journey of self-healing. So to be honest with you I’m delighted to see the back of my 40’s!!
I actually feel freer, calmer since I turned 50.
I feel I am more in touch with who I am. I feel connected to myself a lot more and I will no longer do things just to please other people or because it is expected of me.
Antonia’s death put a lot of things into perspective. It was hard not to.
I also look at it this way, if I live as long as my Dad did, I have 8 years left in my life.
If I live as long as my Mum, I have 19 years left.
And I have already lived 8 years longer than my sister Antonia.
I’ve learnt to appreciate the gift of age.
I’ve paid huge attention to all this especially in the months leading up to my 50th. I was observing people everywhere whilst I contemplated if I had the liathroide to actually stop dying my hair and let it go natural. Vanity played a huge part but with so much grief in my life I wanted to see what I would look like if I gracefully embraced growing old.
I’ve come to realise that most people view age negatively. It is all wrinkles, hair loss / hair going grey and menopause. Menopause gets blamed for everything from what I have experienced so far, from swelling in the body, to tiredness, to whatever!! No matter what your ailment is, it all appears to be put down to “your age and the menopause”.
Menopause is followed by the middle age spread and mid-life crisis. Interestingly next on the list is regret. Regret for all that hasn’t been accomplished in life.
Maybe it is because of my life experiences but I have taken to looking at it in a WOW!! way.
I have had some amazing memories and experiences and I just plan on enjoying life.
Yes turning 50 means ailments kick in, but ailments, aches and pains is a way of life saying HEY! Slow down, enjoy each moment of your life.
I look back and I can honestly say I have had one colourful life and it’s been bloody amazing, but I’m not through with it just yet.
There are places I want to go, things I want to do, experiences I WANT to experience and I AM going to do it.
I love being 50 because now I have life experience under my belt and a realisation that a clock is ticking. I no longer have the innocence of youth thinking forever will always be there at my disposal, because it won’t.
All I have is here and now in this moment.
I have embraced this year and will continue to create many more memories. I have loved every moment so far, even the low moments, the loneliness, the sadness and the pain and I am working through all that. It is all there, it is all part of me but it has also shaped me and made me who I am.
So in answer to your question NO!! I haven’t found 50 to be tougher than normal.
I’ve actually found it easier, and a welcome change from my 40’s.
Life is short, no matter the age, embrace it.
Plus on the up side I can now cat nap in the afternoon because at my age as it is now socially acceptable to do so.