Growing older and aging gracefully (hopefully)


Growing old and aging has been swirling around in my thoughts and head on and off for the past number of months now. I found myself sitting in cafes, restaurants, hair salons, standing in line and just simply people watching, listening, taking in and contemplating the various ways people approach old age.

Today, the 19th August, I celebrate a landmark birthday as I turn the BIG 50 and the lead up to this is the main reason for my moments of contemplation and observation. What intrigued me the most was observing how some women looked far more elegant than others as they aged.  Sorry guys, but you all seem to age gracefully,naturally, so it was the women who had me intrigued.  As I sat and pondered why, I wondered was it the clothes that they wore, their makeup, or was it that they dressed trendy? After a lot of observation I realised it had nothing at all to do with any of that but more to do with the inner power these women had by embracing age and just accepting that they were growing older.  There was no resistance.

In stark contrast others cling desperately to looking like they did in their 20’s and 30’s, surgery, botox, implants all in a bid to prevent age from creeping in. It’s made me wonder, WHY?  What is so dreadful about growing old?

I have a daughter who turns 21 in a couple of weeks and a son who turned 19 a few short months ago. If I tried to stay looking young it would mean I was trying to compete with my kids. That felt all wrong on many levels to me. Seriously would you really want to go back to being a twenty year old? I wouldn’t!  I’ve been there, done that, and I have worn the T-Shirt.

The thing is there is nothing wrong with growing older.  What’s more is that it is completely in vogue right now.  Like hello!! Every single person you meet is doing it.  They / we are all aging.

I’ve known people who have freaked out, had meltdowns and refused to celebrate or mark the occasion, all because of reaching the dreaded 5 O !!!  I know people who lie over their actual age.  Why?

I, as a woman can still pull off being elegant and sexy without looking like a joint of mutton dressed up as lamb. I can still take care of myself, live a healthy, balanced lifestyle.  I can still dance, have fun and I fully intend to enjoy life and live.

Why are we so afraid of wrinkles? If you have laughed a lot it means you have a lot of laughter lines, would you prefer to show off grumpy frowns?  Silver glints in our hair? These catch the light and lift the tone of our skin especially around our faces, often they are more flattering than the effect of hair dye.  So why do we fight it so much?

I am transitioning and I have decided to embrace it and see if I can be a silver long white/grey haired vixen.  I’ve always loved how my grandmother looked with her snow white hair and I also wanted to be a member of the blue rinse brigade. Even though I always told my kids I’ll go purple and get a tattoo.

Some of you have already seen the result of this transition and I’ve been quite amused by people’s reactions. Women in particular are so afraid of growing old.  It has me amazed.

  • I have been told “grey hair will age you”.   Newsflash, I am already aged!
  • “You’ll need to cut your hair into a pixie cut”. Why? Why can’t it be long? BUT, I will be honest for a while I did toy with the idea of shaving it off, thankfully. I didn’t.
  • “You’ll need to go blonde to pull it off”. HELLO!!! Have you seen my hair? I’m a brunette and bleaching my hair blonde will certainly deliver a mandarin orange head that would make any M & M proud!
  • “It won’t suit your skin tone”. Well if I was born a brunette and that suited my skin tone, then aging naturally will also suit my skin tone. As we age we also naturally loose pigmentation in our skin which some people forget as they continue to dye their hair dark.
  • I’ve had jaws dropping in front of me. I’ve been asked “what the hell are you doing with your hair?”  I’ve also had the silent nod and observation, where I can energetically feel she is losing it, having a meltdown vibe.
  • I’ve also been told astrologically Chiron will be returning and I’ve yet to figure out if that is a good or a bad thing for me, time will tell.

You’ll be glad to hear, I’m not having a meltdown or a breakdown.

Life has a great way of putting things in perspective and as I’ve aged I found that I am getting more and more secure in myself with regard to who I am, what floats my boat and what doesn’t.

Age brought with it a reality of understanding that youth lacked.

I always see birthdays as a celebration of a miracle.  For me it is the day I was graced in this world with my existence, the day I started the journey to who I am today. The day I started touching other people’s lives, made a difference, be it for better or worse.

I see each birthday as an honour, a landmark, a blessing, and a gift of life to be grateful for. I have been fortunate to make another one, some unfortunately haven’t been as lucky.

So putting things in perspective, brunette or blonde, grey or white, whatever I’m gifted with it is just a colour.  It is part of me and who I am if I am being authentic and real. So, right now, I am going to embrace it and see where it leads.  I’m in transition right now and what’s more is I am loving it.  I plan to rock my 50’s, free of the shackles, armour and masks of my youth. This is me, this is who I am, the real me and right now in this moment as mentioned I am loving it.

Happy 50th birthday to me, let the fun begin, let the adventure continue.  Forever grateful for the gift of this moment.

Om shanti