The day after the workshop.

I feel amazing today and I know it is down to the healing benefits of the workshop yesterday.  Vesco Bondov created the most amazing Mindfulness and Energy Re-balancing day and for me personally it was badly needed as life has been a tad on the hectic side for the past few weeks.

Some of you expressed your disappointment over not being able to make the day but Vesco has assured me he will come back to the dragonfly hub again for another day in the near future.  I am looking forward to it already.

Speaking with some of my own friends who are not into yoga or mindfulness they mentioned that they didn’t have a clue as to what we were up to for the day.  So I appreciate some of your out there may be wondering the exact same thing and perhaps feel it is not for you.  It is, this kind of day is meant for everyone, young and old and I am just offering my experience of yesterday to help give you a better understanding and insight to the day.

Vesco held an opening circle where we introduced ourselves and briefly mentioned what brought us to the workshop.  This can be as long or as short as you chose it to be.  As I was listening to the others giving their reasons for being there, I was wondering why I was attending it, apart from the obvious, truthfully I didn’t really have to be there, so why did I chose to be there? I realised that in the hectic busyness of what is going on in my life right now my energy feels clear, light, I have been having good moments.  However, there are other moments, secluded moments when I don’t feel so good when my energy is lower.  A level that I am afraid of visiting at the moment, a level that I am running from as I don’t want to lose the lightness the studio has brought to me.  I am afraid of feeling what I need to feel in order to process the heavy, sticky energy of losing Antonia, I am afraid of facing my grief.

Grief brings its own supply of emotions and the studio brings the conflicting balance which means that I am a conundrum of different emotions at the moment and the highs and lows from this battle have been affecting my energy I knew that and that was why I was at the workshop.  I needed to ground and find balance in a way that was supportive and comfortable to me.  All this was internalised and of all people there I think I had the shortest explanation for being there in the opening ceremony.

Immediately Vesco picked up on what I was NOT saying and put me at ease.  Telling me to just be mindful of where I am right now and to stay with what I was feeling and comfortable with, and accepting of that.  This immediately put me at ease as I knew I could relax and just be with myself and how I was feeling in those moments.  I was feeling light and I was hoping I would stay there during the day and just nurture myself a little bit to bring me back to strength.

On completion of the circle Vesco then brought us gently into what I would call a moving meditation, but with our thoughts focused on what was happening for us within our bodies.  We were being mindful in a completely different way.  I discovered a tightness, fullness and heaviness in my legs and lower back which disappeared as the exercise progressed.   Following Vesco’s gentle and clear instructions I could feel the heat and energy start to move within my body and the sense of peace and calm that filled me was mind blowing.

There are situations in life where there is noise, drama, high intensity situations which can throw us off kilter and out of sorts.  Yesterday reminded me that by just coming back to my breath, doing the exercises shown by Vesco, that I can still my mind to such a degree that I can actually cocoon myself in a haven of peace and calm.

I always struggled with traditional meditation practices in trying to achieve this sense of tranquility, normally when sitting in lotus my “to do” lists start kicking in or the things I forgot to do and if the lists are missing the inevitable pins and needles kick in to completely distract me!  Yesterday showed me that by gentle movement I can completely still my mind, I don’t need to be a part of situations outside of myself if I chose not to.  By just being mindful to my breath and body, I can cocoon myself, protect myself and create a safe haven for me personally.  This was hugely powerful for me and the feeling in my body was that of feeling completely safe, nurtured and at peace.  It was exactly what I needed as presently I am just not physically able for anything harsh.  I am looking for softness, gentleness which supports me, nurtures me, protects me.

During lunch break, I met a fabulous man who I had never spoken to before. He told me he passed the studio daily and he wondered about the type of person who would open that kind of business.  He figured that it was for one or two reasons, 1) to make money 2) because the person didn’t care what other people thought.  I told him it was for neither of those reasons it was for 3) Passion and love of the healing power of yoga and energy.  We ended up discussing the ducks, rain, springers, yoga and God and it turned out that this man knew my dad and granddad.  A coincidence?  I don’t think so.  We conversed at the side of the street for a few moments reminiscing.  I took this as a sign that both my boys were very much with me yesterday watching from another dimension and as I parted ways with this gentleman I was smiling from ear to ear, grateful for the power of a smile and the magic in the simple word – hi.

Back in the studio we spent more time bringing awareness inside of ourselves.  Vesco’s instructions are clear, concise and simple.  Anyone including a child could follow his techniques.   When you travel to this space of awareness, it really highlights just how manic and obscene our lives have become with rushing here, there and everywhere, being busy doing this, that and the other.  It depletes us of vital energy that our bodies need to heal and repair.  It really highlighted again to me the importance of self-care.  We spend our lives caring for others if we only invested a fraction of that time on ourselves what we could achieve would be unreal.

Vesco then talked us through a more traditional type of mindfulness meditation and I don’t know about anyone else present but I absolutely loved the sequence to ground and recharge my energy.  My inner child definitely came out for this one and I personally found the technique uplifting and valuable as I soared to great heights with this one.

I walked away from yesterday with tools of support for my tool box.  I now know how to make myself feel safe, secure and cocooned when I am just not physically able to face the harsher energies of other people and situations around me.  I got reminded of the power of acceptance and I also learnt a lot of valuable techniques about dealing with energies around me.  My personal favourite surprisingly from yesterday was how to lift and balance my energy to give me a much needed boost when needed and I discovered a new way of letting free my inner child so that I may experience joy.

Today I am still cocooned.  I feel amazingly fulfilled, content, peaceful, safe and harmonised.  I feel great and I feel acceptance that it is perfectly ok for me to feel that right now.  There is no need for guilt in this moment.

I am truly grateful to Vesco for a most wonderful day and I am really grateful to all of you who came, brought your amazing energy and shared the space within the studio.  Vesco I am looking forward with anticipation for the next wonderful occasion that you will be our guest.

It is my one wish for the studio that people may find harmony and balance there, that they may find healing and support.  So thank you to each and every one of you for enhancing this dream.

Om shanti